In Arthur Miller's play Death of a Salesman, the audience learns, of course, that being well liked is a fool's goal. However, the lesson I always took from it comes in a brief scene where Willy Loman, the titular salesman, is visiting his brother-in-law Charley to borrow his salary so that he can save face with a woman with whom he doesn't have to do anything of the sort. (Digression: Linda's devotion always breaks my heart and it is such a sweet depiction of unconditional love in a difficult play. It is never mawkish, but it can make audiences yearn for a love like Linda's.) Charley's son Bernard, who Willy has always looked down on, is there and exchanges pleasantries with his non-too-pleasant uncle and is off. Charley tells Willy that he is going to argue a case in front of the Supreme Court. Willy is surprised he didn't say anything about it. Charley replies that he doesn't have to because he's doing it.
There it is. The lesson that has stuck with me for over twenty years. The reason if you ask me about something I'm doing that I might shrug it off because I fully believe that to be a self-evident truth. People in the action do not need to tell everyone what they are doing. They do it. This is why boorish sports fans turn me off so completely. Cheer your team on. That's healthy; however, don't seek to find your self-worth in the achievements of others. There's really nothing there for you save inspiration.
